writish_303

writish_303 @ 2004-11-03T18:37:00

2004-11-04T02:38:51Z

This, my friends, is a truely intelligent political rant. THANK YOU ALAINA.

I can't, and WILL NOT accept the fact that he's our president for another 4 years. I'm sorry. I just can't. People are saying "Well, he's the president and theres nothing we can do now...." bull shit. We can do plenty. We can hate him with all our might, and hopefully help other people see the light.

My mom is so depressed. And both my parents are pissed. I will rage on any person who walks up to me and says "Yay Bush won!" Nothings holding me back from inflicting some serious physical pain on that person.

This stupid football jock asshole type character of a guy is in my sign language class at the stupid public high school, and today me and my good friend Jessie were discussing the election and how it's hopeless and that Bush basically won (this was in the morning, before Kerry conceded) and he turns around and goes "Yes!" and we were like "Uhm, excuse me?" And he's like "I'm so glad Bush won! I always harassed the people with Kerry signs on the street..." and I was like "WTF? Why? Why the hell do you like Bush?" And he just kinda didn't really answer and he turned back around in his seat all satisfied and smiling like he just said something really super awesome and cool. And I said, super loud, "I freaking hate people like that. Seriously I hate them. The ones that go "I love Bush!" without reason. Freaking idiots." hahaha and I KNOW he heard me. Idiot. I doubt he's educated in areas of politics AT ALL. The only reason he probably likes Bush is because "Duuhh, gay people are weird and dudes should not like other dudes because it's unmanly like and duhhh, Bush rox!1one" *kills*

I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RAGE!!!!

writish_303 @ 2004-10-04T20:19:00

2004-10-05T03:19:19Z

I got Giselle pictures today, and so I'm gunna post a few!

Awww, 2 of the girles I love the mostest. We were just cha-cha-chillin during rehersal. Wassup foo's *bustin sign* (Yellow Emulee) I love this picture because look at my arm! OPTICAL ILLUSION! People who've never seen me before might even make the mistake that I'm semi-skinny..

The retartedness that is us. This definately wasn't supposed to be a "fo real" picture. Hayley's (the girl in the middle) dad is the one who takes these picures so we just took this one for fun. Eh heh.(I wish now that I had taken a picture with Meg. MEGGY LU! WHERE ARE YOU?!)

Look at us with our little baskets of grapes. Howw cute? NO. How moronic.

AFWJHFA:WLKFHW:LWFKWHA DARLING!!! *hugs*

HEHE

HAHA!!! LOOK AT ME! I'm like *gus-gus voice* "duh!?" If you can't tell which is me, I'm 4th from the left, and the first "vanegatherer" (aka girl in a green dress) from the left. MWUAHAHAHAAAA.

Hayley looks SO good in that picture. I uh, look like I'm gunna kill someone. And if that isn't frizzy hair...

That's just REALLY creepy. Isn't it? Or am I just weird? Can anybody guess where I am?! You got it! "Shoved off to the side so nobody can see my fattness!" (says Vera's brain)

This just in...reports have confirmed that...I LOOK POSESSED IN THIS PICTURE. Not to mention, eh, the rolling in of the standing foot *is ashamed*

Anndddd yes, I've fallen asleep. Comfy position yeh?

Awwww! Cute!!! *will get framed*

If you couldn't already tell by the look on our faces, we were trying SOOO hard not to laugh. hahaha YEMULEE! NO LAUFFING!!

I look like I'm about to heave....*gags*

Yillian and Yemulee posing for the camera in our smashing Willis' outfits. Huzzah.

Weeee. Arabesque. Fun shizzle, in Gizzle fo rizzle my nizzle. (wtf is wrong with me)

My favorite picture of the bunch. Well, of ME. I likey.

YAYYYYYYYY!

IM DONE, YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

writish_303 @ 2004-09-30T23:13:00

2004-10-01T06:23:31Z

Omgosh, wow. I haven't updated in years! I'm so sorry, I've been busy like woah.

6 hours of dance today. SIX!!!!! Why haven't I dropped dead yet?

AHhhhhhhHhhhHHhhh, this week has been C-R-AZY. Emotionally I mean. People have been giving my self esteem a good kick in the ass, and it's made me go a little coo-coo. I think today and yesterday have been the only days I haven't cried since...*counts*...last Friday. Yah. It's bad.

I get so depressed sometimes, that I just want to sit and cry and not do anything. This happens to post a problem with the school deal. Homework? Not gettin done. Well, yes it get's done, but LAST MINUTE and then it's crap work. But I can't really help it. I won't LET myself do it, I just sit and mope and feel sorry for myself.

And I think, Uhh hey Jill, member that thing called homework? Yah, it's due tomorrow. Do I do it? No. I sit here until last minute (meaning somewhere around midnight) to actually even start it.

I love getting lost in books (sharp change in subject) and I am completely lost in The Abarat. I had set it down for awhile and was planning on picking it up soon enough, and last night I was a little bored so I decided to continue reading. Yah, I got officially hooked. I was reading chapter after chapter at 1:30 in the morning, I COULDN'T PUT IT DOWN! I was dead tired, and my eyelids were screaming at me to let them shut, but I couldn't!

Can I just say right now that I LOVE Candy Quackenbush(<--thanks Meg ;-)). She is SO kick ass. Omgosh, I wish I had the balls to say what she does sometimes. I probably do have the guts, I am just never put in the situations that she is. Right now she has been obducted by that creepy guy with the many hats, and I'm scared for her. Ew. This guy is just downright weird. He beets the Halloweenish guy...and now I'm just talking outta my butt right? Haha nobody probably knows what I'm talking about (cept Meggers).

Soooo now I'm gunna go finish Mary-kate's homework. I'm sorry Mary-kate, this is probably gunna suck. My brain doesn't want me to be creative so it's gunna be....*sigh*....bad. :-\ I'll try my hardest though.

Jilly

Dun dun dun dun dun dun!!! Put in another movie, have a cup of tea.

2004-09-15T06:28:48Z

Soooooo, I'm a Vampire and a Witch. Hmm.

No silly, those are my roles in "Dracula." Sound interesting right? Well, the Vampire dance will be exciting because it's only 3 girls, and one of them is emdancerr629 !!!! *napoleon voice* YESSSSSSSSSS. Also, it's a jazz dance! And I <3 <3 <3 <33333333333 jazz.

The Witch role is with 3 other girls, all of whom are nothing alike. We came to the conclusion that the dance has something to do with tap, because we are basically the only 4 girls that can tap at the studio. But then, Hayley (one of the girls) said she heard it's going to be tapping on pointe? WTF?! Can you say OW?! I can hardly jump on my toes, let alone tap on them. So, we'll see how that goes...

I came to the conclusion just about, now, that Wendy is basically favorite fictional character ever. I love EVERYTHING about her. I admire her personality, and edginess. I dunno, it's weird, but true. I would love more then ANYTHING to play her in the show "Peter Pan." But, I don't know of any place nearby that's putting that show on now, or in the near future. I wish I was Wendy.

I have a lot of homework to do. I have to read a chapter in Chemistry before tomorrow, and write up my CD thing. Plus more that I can't think of. *sigh* I truely truely hate school.

No ballet tomorrow, I have pilates instead. So, thats a break. I think.

<33

Ladidaaaa

2004-09-14T05:46:31Z

I made a request at peterpan_icons the other day, and hells_icons responded with every single picture I asked for, and not only that, but different views/shots of them. I was in awe. I couldn't believe somebody actually wanted to do that for me! LOL! The icons are here:

Look at them...

hehe I'm so excited to use them!!!! *goes to upload some now*

Today was a good day. Ballet, jazz. All was good. I don't have school on Tuesdays so *sigh* I get to have a nice schleep-in tomorrow. Also, the cast list for "Dracula", the next show I'm doing (which is a ballet, oddly enough) goes up tomorrow. It's obviously going to be performed around Halloween (whooppeee). Actually, I think one of the performences is ON Halloween. Nice. What little kid is gunna go see that when they could be out getting free freaking candy? Not me. Haha watch, I'm probably gunna end up skipping out of the show just so I can gallop down my child-free neighboorhood and collect the candy, all so I can gain even MORE weight from not being in the show. :-D my imagination is so vivid...not.

Damn, I have to sew pointe shoes. Oh, and thats right, idiot Jillian lost her "sewing kit" (was actually a plastic bag full of needles and thread) and now I dono what to do. And I have variations tomorrow, and if I'm not on pointe, well, that's basically just handing Ms. Vera my death on a platter. I'm sure she'll be pleased...*can picture her rubbing palms together and coming up with evil plan to ruin my life* not like she already hasn't...

I have a giant pimple on my back and it hurts like a mo-fo. TMI?

Im SO obsessed with Peter Pan. Last night/this morning I uploaded the ENTIRE movie screen captures. This one girl capped them all and put them on her folder so I now have them on my computer. Theres literally probably 300. It's great. :-)

Now all I need is PSP so I can actually DO something with the pictures I have on my computer. I can't wait for October 26th!!!!! (*cough* my 17th birthday *cough*)

I hope I get a good part in Dracula. GRR I shouldn't be saying that. I keep telling myself that the only reason I haven't left Vera's is because I'm dancing for ME. Not for her, or for anyone else, but for ME. And that I'm only doing the shows to keep myself strong, and not for the goal of trying to get good parts. Because, I only get let down.

I don't even want to talk about it. Nope, no, I won't. Today is too happy of a day for me to end it with a depressing rant.

I'm gunna probably go watch a movie with my sister and her/my friend Amanda. So...talk to you all later!

ITS SO COOL ThAT YOU CAN BURN CD'S ON WINDOWS MEDIA! AHH! I LOVE MY LAPTOP!!! *hums to music*

<33333

Jilly

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:18:00

2004-09-11T08:19:48Z

It's raining really hard.

I just got finished watching Ned Kelly. Incredible movie. Why are the depressing movies always the unforgetable ones?

writish303: Have you ever seen Ned Kelly?
emdancerr629: orlandos movie?
writish303: yes
writish303: obviously not then
writish303: I just watched it. Wow, was that ever depressing.
emdancerr629: haha oh no@!
writish303: Member how I said I haven't been able to cry lately? Well, this one part at the end of the movie, omg. It hurt me so much, I wanted to sit and ball and cry for hours. But my sister was there, and so I just kind of sobbed a little, made some noises...I tried to hold it back. I didn't want to hold it back, but I didn't want to cry hard in front of her. I wanted to leave and come in my room and cry, but I had to see the rest of the movie. i was hoping maybe I'd be able to cry later tonight, but I can't. It just won't come back.
writish303: And I just read my friends journal and she made a tribute to 911 and people were commenting telling there stories about where they were on that day, and I wrote out my story and it just made my heart and stomach hurt. And I thought "oh, maybe I'll cry now" but noppe. I'm numb.

Didn't feel like retyping what I felt about it, so there's that.

Wow, I'm kinda getting freaked out. I can actually hear the wind howling.

How depressing is this day? And how horrible is it of me to just not want it to come, for it to pass and not have to worry about it? People are probably going to mourn, cry, pray...does it make me a terrible person to not have to emotional energy to do that? Not even considering the fact that I can't cry on my own, let alone around other people.

I used to be able to cry so easily! I want to cry! I don't think I've ever said that to myself before, in my life. WANTING to cry? But I do. I think it would help me.

It almost took over me how much I needed to cry (during that one part at the end of Ned Kelly) To describe the part, it was when the 2 brothers were being burned alive inside a building, and they both had only one pistol left in there guns. When they were saying they were going to shoot each other, they were like heaving and crying and it just made me hurt SO bad. And then, when the one boy shot himself and the brother was holding his head and rocking him back and forward and crying, and then took his gun and shot himself. Wow. I don't know how and why that got to me, but it was like a firecracker was inside my chest and it wanted to explode and burst out. That's actually EXACTLY how it felt. Hm.

Tomorrow I have auditions for IYB, wtf? Anyway, I guess I have to go. Then I think I'll be going over to Emily's to watch Lord of the Ring's commentary and such. Maybe some Harry Potter? What about Peter Pan? I'm a dork.

I'm gunna ask her if we could do something as a tribute to 911. Although I don't feel like it, I will. I can't bare myself enough as it is, and adding stubbornly bitchiness on a day like this is just, stupid of me.

Alright, I'm going to go to bed now. I'll talk to you all later.

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:15:00

2004-09-11T08:18:57Z

AH! EL JAY! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!

I've been trying to update the entire night. *sigh* Alright...

I've had SUCH an amazing day. Well, no, thats exaggerating. It was really busy, which is probably why it was great because I didn't have much time to think.

4 bloody hours of ballet. 4!!! In ONE day. It's insane. 1 hour of private, then I come back for 1 and a half hours of ballet class which was, *sigh* amazing. hahaha um, quoting from TTT commentary which I'm sure you won't get UNTIL I POST IT! ACK!

Then 1 and a half hours of PARTNERING which was, *sigh* TERRIBLE! Well, not SO horrible. But the guy I partnered with was really great. We didn't do any lifts today, but we did this thing where I stand with my arms up and he grabs me around my waist and tilts me to the side so that it's kind like a dip, but ballet style. So basically, just really clean and straight lined. I seriously have trust issues when it comes to partnering, and I was spazzing out. I kept making these weird faces and grunting noises cause I was SO afraid he was going to drop me. But in the end, it was really good. I CAN'T believe he could hold my weight like that *is amazed* and he was SO enocouraging. We did this one move where I hold his hand and am on pointe, and one leg is in attitude in the back and he has to promenade me and I REALLY just could not keep my arm muscles strong and he just kept saying "It's okay, don't give up, common...common, don't give up!" It made me feel a lot better that he was trying to help. Most guy's don't say anything.

And then the BEST thing happened EVER. I TOUCHED LUSHKIN!!!!! *faints*....................................*is revived by Emily* "Jillian, fuhgeddaboudit, it was only his hand....he touched MY waist..." *kills*

LOL. He TOUCHED MY HAND! AHHHHHH!!! I'm SUCH a fangirl it's pathetic. I went to work with Ryan on that one step I just mentioned, and Mr. Luskin came over and said "O no no no, it is wrong...I show you" And then he did it with me and the only place you have to touch the guy in that move is on his hand, pity we didn't do the other step. *cries* But I was being a spazz cause I couldn't hold my arm straight, and he was like "Common! Keep arm muscles tight! Common!!!" And then I basically just made this huge GRUNT noise and spazzed my face and fell over. I am SOO smooth.

"So basically what your saying is the hair stops there?" hahaha don't ask. I had SO much fun with Emily today.

I ramble on and on when I've had a good day. You probably aren't even reading this! EEEEEEIIIII!!!!

Ballet was hilarious though, I couldn't control myself. I was OUT OF CONTROL hyper and it was scary. I almost shit myself from laughing so hard. And Emily had to stay away from me because she had to pee and I kept "making funnies". We tried to count how many time's Mr. Lushkin said "Yeh? You know, yeh?" It's uncountable. I swear...that man....

I'm feeling a lot better since yesterday. Writing it out like that REALLY helped, it's theraputic. Especially all the comments I got, I really really do love you guys.

I have to post the Dom & Billy quotes I wrote down...effing hilarious...

Dom And Bill's Commentary for The Two Towers:

Dom: You go first Bill

Bill: No, you.

Dom: Billy, you start speaking first.

Bill: No, no, you Dom, go on, go on it's you.

Dom: What?

Bill: Who started last time?

Dom: I think you did. Wait...

Bill: Well it's your turn then. Go.

Dom: Supposedly Ian Mckellan really burnt his nasal hair in this scene.

Bill: Yeah. Luckily he had the prosthetic nose on, it was the only thing that saved that, Dom.

Dom: Was he wearing prosthetic nasal hair as well?

Bill: Yes.

Dom: That's good.

Dom: This guy was a nightmare to work with, the Balrog, he had a huge trailer. Never came out, never bought a round when we went to the bar do you remember?

Bill: Yeah.

Dom: Really rude.

Bill: I love this, I love this Dom, I LOVE THIS!

Sam: Can you see the bottom?

Bill: I can see you're bottom.

Dom: You can always see Sean Astin's bottom, sorry Sean! You're like an Uncle to me.

Frodo: What's in this?

Dom: Marijuana.

Dom: It's great. He's got so much going on, Gollum. Sometimes he looks old, sometimes he looks young, sometimes he looks like a dog, sometimes he looks like a frog, sometimes he looks like a monkey, sometimes he looks like a bus.

Bill: A bus?

Dom: Sometimes a bus.

Bill: Hmm.

(when you first see Merry and Pippin in the movie)

Dom: This is where the magic really begins though. I mean, as far as a start to a movie, this is really where it, I mean, this is just absolute cinema genius.

Bill: See, a lot of people think that Pippin threw that down, you know, to let Aragorn know where they were and you know they were still alive, it's actually, it was just chaffing his neck.

Dom: Oh right.

Bill: They actually, uh, trained 4 million ants. Dressed them all in Urukai uniform and got them all in march.

Dom: Right.

Bill: Which you know, is, *sigh*, amazing.

Dom: Well, I mean incredible, because ant's have 6 legs. And they agreed to have 4 of their legs taken out. For this movie.

Bill: Which, you know, shows a sort of passion and commitment.

Dom: And also their antennas, which they use to find food, they were taken out as well.

Dom: It seems that WETA has no concept of men having testicles. And by the end of this shoot, I had no concept of men having testicles because they went internal.

Bill: Like a, sumo-wrestler?

Dom: They had to be coaxed out.

Bill: I think it's really important to show Treebeard saying it's not effecting us so therefore it doesn't matter. And I think it's really important...

Dom: *bites into apple*

Bill: For the hobbits to say...

Dom: *loud crunching*

Bill: Yes it does...will you stop eatin' while I'm tryin to say somethin?

Dom: *cute laughter* I'm really hungry.

Dom: Probably some of the madest sections in the whole book I think where Treebeard is explaining to the Hobbits about the entwives, it's just complete lunacy. You know, the fact that he doesn't even know what they look like, I mean they must look, kind of, like ents. A little bit, you'dve thought.

Bill: More then like, a Tiger.

Dom: Are you mad at me?

Bill: No I'm not mad. I'm disappointed with you. I could never stay mad at you.

Bill: Hello and uh, welcome back to Disc 2...

Dom: Of the uh, cast commentary for the Lord of the Rings Two Towers. I'm Dom Monaghan, just settling in for another...what is it, 9 or 10 hours of this movie?

Bill: Apparentely 12.

Dom: 12 hours.

Bill: Yeah, put your feet up. Enjoy this. Here come the refugees.

Dom: Mmm, Liv T.

Bill: Very beautiful.

Dom: Very beautiful.

Bill: Viggo Mortenson.

Dom: Not quite as beautiful.

Bill: Not quite.

Dom: If I was gunna choose between kissing one of them I'd probably end up kissing Liv.

Bill: Yeah I would. Well, unless I had an ich. Then I'd kiss Viggo and his beardly beard could scratch it.

Dom: Yeah, and he's got quite good taste in Cigars as well so if you wanted to have, ya know, like a second hand smoke.

Bill: Yeah that'd be nice wouldn't it? Eh?

Dom: To get a kiss off Viggo.

Bill: I think this horse is gunna have a kiss off him in a minute.

Bill: We disappear, in the film, for 50 minutes.

Dom: And that is probably some of the darkest piece of cinema that you will see in that 50 minutes.

Bill: I think it's actually a story-telling device. Uh, that it makes people get sadder, and sadder.

Dom: You just long for Pippin and Merry.

Bill: Yeah they're thinking, "I'm missing something here."

Dom: Yeah.

Bill: I don't know what I'm missing.

Dom: Theres a piece of my life, shard of my heart, that has been torn out.

Bill: *almost in tears* I don't know what it is.

Dom: I don't understand what it is.

Bill: *on the verge* Somethin...*deep breath*...and then...*deep breath*

Dom: And then like...

Bill: There's the dirty little buggers up a tree!

Dom: *sigh*

Bill: *sigh* ahhh that's better eh?

Dom: Like a new sunrise.

Bill: Oh it's beautiful. Like someones just given you a...cake.

Dom: Yeah or candy floss, or cotton candy as you might say it in America.

Bill: *gasp* Cotton candy...or a big bag of popcorn.

Dom: Yeah. Or pumpernickle as you say in America.

Bill: Ahh pumpernickle. Rocky road.

Dom: Baby ruth. We just got into chocolate bars now.

Bill: Yeah. Ah.

Dom: I'll tell ya what, Sean Astin was fat wasn't he? Would you like to make a comment on that Bill, or would you just like to laugh silently.

Bill: Nope, I will leave that with you Dom.

Dom: I did say he WAS fat. He now has the body of a greek god. Spearus. The horse god.

Dom: I was affectionately known by the cast as King-Dom.

Bill: Are you sure?

Dom: Yeah King-dom.

Bill: Dom?

Dom: King-domdomdom

Bill: Dommy? Dom?

Dom: No I wasn't.

Bill: No you weren't. No.

Bill: I would just like to take this moment to say how proud I am to be in these movies.

Dom: Mmm.

Bill: When you sit down and you watch ‘em again.

Dom: I’d like to say how proud I am to be sittin’ next to ya Billy.

Bill: Well, you won’t be for long.

Bill: I love you.

Dom: I love you.

Bill: Thanks.

Dom: I think The Two Towers should have been called “The Adventure’s of Merry and Pippin.”

Bill: We shall rename it. Because um, I think we spoke about, uh…*sigh*…lost my train of thought. Say somethin’ for a minute.

Dom: I really like eggs in the morning, and bacon and night. Is that wrong?

Bill: No carry on, carry on.

Dom: Pfft, when I was 7…I uh, used to eat ants…

Bill: Got it! We were talking about ehm…*sigh* lost it again.

*laughter*

Bill: That’s quite incredible isn’t it?

Dom: It was probably a lie Bill.

Bill: No real in’t it now? It was somethin’ about the tree…ahh yes.

Dom: There we go.

Bill: But I think anyone who’s a fan of Tolkien, and, and who has read or studied the books will say that Merry and Pippin were very much involved in the rousing of the ents. I don’t think anyone would think of them as just, ehm, stand…der…bys? Standerbys? Standbyees?

Dom: Passer, passerbys?

Bill: Passerybys?

Dom: Bystanders!!

Bill: Bystanders!

Dom: hahaha

Bill: There’s the word.

Credits:

Dom: First thing it says across there now…

Directed by Peter Jackson

Dom: STARRING DOMINIC…oh.

Bill: Peter Jackson.

Screenplay by Fran Walsh, Philipa Boyens, Stephen Sinclair, Peter Jackson.

Bill: Fran Walsh, Philipa Boyens, Stephen Sinclair, Peter Jackson.

Dom: You just gunna say uh every name that comes on?

Based on the book by J.R.R. Tolkien

Bill: J.R.R. Tolkien!

Elijah Wood

Dom: Don’t know who that joker was there…

Ian McKellen

Dom: Ian McKellen.

Bill: A classic actor.

Dom: Cooks a fantastic egg-foo-young.

Liv Tyler

Dom: Liv Tyler. Beautiful. Gorgeous.

Viggo Mortenson

Dom: Viggo Mortenson

Bill: Mad as a fish.

Dom: Smells a little bit.

Sean Astin

Dom: Sean Astin. Was fat. Now thin.

Cate Blanchett

Dom: Cate Blanchett, she’s beau-ti-fullll.

Bill: One of the most beautiful women in the world.

John Rhys-Davies

Bill: John Rhys-Davies. One of the most beautiful men.

Billy Boyd

Dom: Billy Boyd! Scott!
Bill: Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen.

Dominic Monaghan

Bill: Dominic Monaghan!

Dom: Incredible character. Full of fish.

Orlando Bloom

Dom: Orlando Bloom. Couldn’t be more beautiful.

Hugo Weaving

Bill: Hugo Weaving. Matrix!

Sean Bean

Dom: Sean Bean HE WAS SHOT.

Music composed orchestrated and conducted by Howard Shore.

Dom: Howard Shore. He…makes…music.

Bill: Doodi-la-deet de deeee!!!!

(font gets small)
Bill: Get’s difficult now, because I can’t read that!

Dom: If you’re still watching this, congratulations! You’ve won a special prize. Dinner with Billy Boyd, at the Ivy in Los Angeles California Robinson Boulevard 2:00. This afternoon. Be there…

Bill: Or, or be hungry? See what I did there?

Dom: Yah I know you just put a little twist on it.

Bill: Because I didn’t say square, I said be hungry. Because it’s lunch.

Bill: Dun dun dun dun dun dun DUN! Put in another movie! Have a cup of tea.

Dom: Put in Beverly Hill’s Cops, something a little bit more chilled out ya know, something not as over the top. Maybe, I dunno, The Lion King, The Land Before Time. Ya know? Maybe Annie! Maybe The Champ if you want a cry!

Bill: What ‘bout Rocky? Another classic boxing movie I think you’ll find it.

Dom: Should we end now?

Haha wow, I'm done now. *phew* Boy was that long.

Do you guys like my new icon? FELTON MADE IT! *hugs her* I luff her SOOO MUCH!!!!

ITS TIME FOR BED! GOONITE!!!

<3333333333

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:12:00

2004-09-11T08:15:10Z

I really am depressed, and I don't care how many people say it's EMO or mainstream of me to say so. It's a disease and it's eating me up. I don't have to take medicine or go to a doctor to know that I'm depressed.

It hurts. Everywhere. It hurts all the time and all over.

I can't get a hold of myself, it's in my brain...my heart. I can't control what I think anymore. When I'm alone, there's nothing I can do to stop the insane idea's that go through my brain.

I can be normal in public and have fun with my friends, but it's getting way to hard to put up that facade.

This world is so screwed up. And the people in it are screwed. Can anybody win? It's a routine that goes in circles. I'm sick of it all, I really really am.

Everybody has there little groups, there cool people, the stupid people, the geeky people. Everybody thinks they're right, and everybody else's opinion of everything else is wrong. It's just screwed up.

AFLAGH:LWEGHW:EILGHEWLGHSE:LGJKHES:LGKJEHSLGKJE

I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why can't I be NORMAL!? I just don't want to feel this way anymore. I thought these feelings were gone. They never left, I was just covering them up.

I would never kill myself. That's not even in the question. It's just the pain I'm going through is uncontrollable. I sit here in my room and just think, and feel pain, and then think again, and then feel pain again. And my friends are so great, they understand. And then there are the friends that AREN'T so great, and don't understand. Like the stupid people who call me to hang out and I just have to keep making up excuses not to see them and I end up feeling bad but I don't want to GO anywhere.

I can't decide if dance makes it better, or worse. I do feel worse when I'm not dancing, but when I am dancing, all that goes through my brain is "I'm fat, I need to be skinnier like her, I need to be better then that person, I have to prove to everyone that I'm better..." And it's just not HEALTHY. But I can't stop the thoughts!!!!!!

I'm starting therapy. It makes me angry that I have to be the one who ask's for it. Shouldn't my mom just FIGURE it out? I mean, she supposedly "knows" me so well. Can't she tell I'm unhappy? Yeah she can tell that I'm always angry, but that's nothing. She probably just thinks I'm this complete out of control bitch who needs to get her attitude checked at therapy. I tell her it's because of deperession, but she doesn't get it. Nobody does (or atleast it feels that way)

"I never knew emotional pain could hurt so physically"

I came up with that the other night when Erin and I were having this big huge discussion about depression. She's on medications.

It's not some trend, people. Being depressed isn't something that should be "in" or "out" or "cool" or "not cool." It's a frikkin brain disfunction. A chemical inbalance. It's not something you can choose to have. It's not a joke, it's not funny...and it shouldn't be thought of as.

Please don't take any of this personally. This was just a rant that I couldn't keep inside any longer. I really do love all of you...I just need to figure out how to love myself.

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:12:00

2004-09-11T08:12:38Z

Doesn't he look SO much like Elijah Wood did when he was little? It's freakin me out...

I am going to make some icon requests because I know many of you gorgeous girls are quite talented at it. I'm in this mood right now so excuse the depressiveness.

I know this is the picture from my current icon, but I was wondering if somebody could make me a base using it, but make the pixels a littler clearer then they are in the one I currently have? Yah, dono if that makes sense.

Okay with this one I want it to say "Natural beauty" if that's at all possible. Thankee.

A base of this one. And if you could cut out the sunglasses of the creeping guy holding her that would be splendid. I smell waffles.

Oh, and also one that says "I never knew emotional pain could hurt so physically"

Just a base. Plzkthnx.

A base, and also "My heart hurts"

Thanks guys, if any of you could make just one of those request's I would really appreciate.

I can't wait for therapy, it starts on Thursday. I'm in dire need...it's really starting to hurt.

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:11:00

2004-09-11T08:12:06Z

Courtesy of the lovely veelaoferised herself. Go on! Go put it in your user infy-o...all the cool kids are doing it. AND PLEASE UPLOAD TO YOUR OWN SERVER, REQUEST OF LAUREL! WE ALL LOVE HER SO DON'T BUST UP HER BANDWIDTH ALRIGHTIZZLE?!

I would love to make a real post but I'm so tired it's hard for me to keep my eyes open. This is pretty much what it's gunna be like for awhile for me because of dance being so damn physically challangeing for me. *sigh* Here goes the pain...

<333

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:10:00

2004-09-11T08:11:39Z

I'm so tired it hurts!!!!

Yes, that's all.

Goodnight all.

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:10:00

2004-09-11T08:10:48Z

Can't...get...upset...men...must...not...run...my...life...

I HATE MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *stabs*

Okay now...I'm going to try to bring my spirits up before the party...*sigh*

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:07:00

2004-09-11T08:09:48Z

Guess what girls?!??!

PARTY OVER HERE! WHOOP WHOOP!

That's right, I'm having a party at my journal. It's gunna last the whooolllle weekend. I decided to have it start on Saturday, which mean's I'll start it at midnight tonight because I have no life and will probably be sitting at my computer waiting for the clock to chime 12, and then I'll bust out my party hat and...

Yeah. You get the point.

But you're ALL invited and PLEASE DO COME! I promise I won't letcha down...;-)

This is SO random but I was reading Feltons (___quidam ) journal, and she posted about how Lucius is only going to be in 2 scenes. And then I was thinking about how they are going to cut stuff because it will scare the children. And DAMN. I'm so angry about this. I am so sick of the stereotypical "Oh, you like Harry Potter? I thought only 10 year olds liked Harry Potter" thing. It makes me FURIOUS. JK Rowling has said herself MANY times that the Harry Potter books were not MEAN'T for children, but they were mean't for EVERYONE. ALL ages. I know that the general audience is children, but I swear to god teenagers get more excited about it. You don't see 7-10 year olds on the Harry Potter communities chatting about their favorite part from the book. I mean, yeah, they might be too young. But that just proves my point. They are too young! They probably all don't even UNDERSTAND Harry Potter. I believe the book was mean't for teenagers because, well, Harry Potter IS a teenager in 5 out of the 7 books. And I really can't stand the fact that if some idiot knows you like Harry Potter, they think it's childish or immature. On the contrary, I think being a Harry Potter fan makes me more mature then most! I read 10 times more then half my friends, I'm interested in things other then drugs and sex ya know?

This rant has turned into I dono what. I'm just irritated at the moment. Does anybody understand what I'm trying to say? Please, tell me what you think. I need some peoples perspectives.

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:07:00

2004-09-11T08:07:41Z

I'm officially really, REALLY cool. Peter Pan just made me cry. That's right, there were tears.

*sob*

I send out my love and good luck to everyone on my Friends list who's stuck in a hurricane. I hope you all make it out of there safely! *prays*

Um, yeah...that's my update. Pointless I know but I just had to do it.

DONT DEFLiST ME BECAUSE MY POSTS ARE POINTLESS!

Psh, like you would. *hopes*

haha

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:06:00

2004-09-11T08:07:04Z

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MAAAAYYYYYRRRREEEEEYYYYYYY!!!!111one!11!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Everybody go tell Mary you love her and to have a BEAUTIMOUS BIRTHDAY!

I LOVE YOU MARY! HAVE AN AWESOME SWEET 16!!!! *HUGS*

writish_303 @ 2004-09-11T01:05:00

2004-09-11T08:06:41Z

Just curious. Which are you? Republican, Democratic, or Liberal?

I'm bored mmk? And I just wanna get to know my friends list as best I can. :-D

By the way, just popped in the Peter Pan DVD. BORED I AM NO MORE!!!